I Wanted to Want to Have Sex – AB

I wanted to want to have sex!

The other evening I was headed out to an event with a man I’ve been dating. I put on clothes that made me feel good and prior to leaving I made sure my home was in okay shape to have him back to connect after the event.
Since he was heading over to my area of town to see the show I figured that would be easiest!

I wanted to have sex with this man. I turned over the thoughts in my mind. And they were some naughty delicious thoughts.

It was overall a really fun night. We laughed, we sang, we danced, and we ate. It felt oh so cozy wrapped up in his arms but as we walked back to the car I checked in with myself and thus my body.

I wanted to want to have sex with him in that moment… but in truth in that moment I didn’t want it. My body was feeling “off” and although I had decided in my mind that I would make the offer to connect deeper… I just wasn’t there.

It wasn’t anything to do with him.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want sex with him.
I just didn’t want sex with him that night…

And I had a moment of “shoulding” on myself… really more about the fact that our schedules didn’t align and I didn’t want to miss the chance to connect with him …

Though I moved past it and listened to my body. I mentally revoked my initial plans for sex.
My body was saying NO to sex that night.
It wasn’t turned on at that level and I would have been having sex from a space of duty and a space of only being half-present. What a crappy night of sex that would have been!

Earlier on I wanted him in my bed. I wanted the feel of his hands on my body. I wanted to feel him at a deeper level. But by the time the evening was coming to a close the energy in my body had simply shifted. I WANTED to want all of those things from a head level but body just was a no.

Like so many women… a turned on women one moment does not guarantee a turned on women later on.

Why am I telling you about how my man ALMOST got some the other night?

Well its because over and over recently I have been hearing about women having sex more from a place of duty and not really from a place of desire. And not asking for the elements that will put them in a place of desire. Having sex from a place of just wanting to please their partners when they are not desiring it at any level.

And even more than that… there is an energy that I’ve noticed thus far that 2019 is requiring from us. It is requiring us to tune into our beautiful bodies. It is blaring at us that if we desire to have a healthy, abundant, and beautiful year then we have to embody ourselves at a deeper level than ever before.

If we desire to dive deeper into our sex then we have to tune into every nuance of our bodies at a deeper level.
If we desire to be our most joyful and abundant then we have to tap deeper into our bodies because they share messages of our souls. If we desire to connect deeper with our spirits then we must make sure we are taking care and embodying the very vehicles in which we receive and which greatly impact our energy.

This goes for truly listening to the internal yes and no’s that our bodies provide. The other night I knew from tuning in that something was physically not right and listened to my body that was feeling tense and restricted with the idea of having sex. My body was craving sleep. My body was craving water. My body and spirit were a NO to sex.

Though often we push past these signs. We tell ourselves that we should do something or that we are just being silly. Disconnecting ourselves from our own intuitions. This goes for all areas of our lives… from what we eat, to how we exercise, to even the sensations in the physical body that arise in social interactions. We even disconnect from the sensations and holding our bodies do that if we paid attention at all would save us from having massive physical health issues down the road.

And so often we will realize too late that if we had listen to our bodies signals then we would have saved ourselves physical, emotional, or spiritual ramifications. Our bodies are so very wise but we have our childish ego that gets in the way of this wisdom.

I am so happy I listened to my body the other night because I found out later that my body really wasn’t right. More than that I chose to listen to not what my ego was telling me but what my heart, desire, and thus body was communicating.

My desire for you is to evaluate how you are tuning into your own body and the messages your body is providing you. Try tuning into your physical body before answering yes/no to any question. Use your body as the powerful tool it was meant to be used for and stop disengaging!

Sending you all…

Love, Light, & Blessings!

~Addison~

 

Originally posted on AddisonBell.net (Jan 28, 2019)

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